Burnout and Sustainable Writing

You start out strong and confident in your plans.

You sally forth with all the bravado of a warrior intent on conquering the battlefield.

Regardless of the task, nothing can stop you…

Next thing you know, you’re lying in a ditch a few days later. Armor dulled and slipping off, shield and sword lying nearby as you’re too tired to carry them.

You are exhausted, hungry, and confused.

What the fuck happened???

Burnout.

The 5 Stages of Burnout

Yep. We’ve all been there at different points of our lives.

It’s something that looms over us.

Watches us from the shadows.

Rubbing its hands in delight. Waiting for us to become too enthusiastic and comfortable with our ambitions…

It’s an evil little imp that can derail the most persistent and diligent worker. When it’s done, it renders the victim helpless and blubbering…playing Candy Crush Saga…

::ahem::

Let’s talk about the 5 stages of burnout using the writing process:

1. Honeymoon phase

2. The onset of stress

3. Chronic stress

4. Single burnout

5. Habitual burnout

Honeymoon

Ah, sheer rapture! Everything is new and shiny. You are eager to explore and test everything about the new endeavor or experience. Nothing can bring you down from this phase of the journey.

You collect ideas with abandon. They come in all shapes and sizes and are none too good.

It doesn’t matter, though…they’re your thoughts, and you’re going to share them, dammit!

They will come by the thousands to worship at your feet. Starving supplicants begging for you to shower them with your wisdom!

This vision of course spurs you on to write…

and write…

and write…

You are on fire and spraying your thoughts across the social media space.

You are unstoppable!

Until you’re not…

Stress Begins

You’ve written in volume with the zeal and devotion of a madman,

You start expecting more from yourself...

You start to worry about the feedback and the engagement that you receive from your hours of hard labor.

The excitement fades are your attention shifts to engaging with others.

You find yourself spending increasing amounts of time replying to comments…

• giving

• referring

• clarifying

• responding

• encouraging

You begin to feel the fatigue of responding to the 135,435,523,435th comment creeping in…

The Chronic

In desperation, you try to keep pace with writing and responding every day.

You start to feel the pressure of cranking out quality content every day.

One post has turned into four posts every day.

One thread has turned into three a week.

People have started messaging you…

• to interact and engage in deeper conversation

• to ask a question or two about the meaning of your writing

• to pitch you and help you “explode” if you had “more exposure”

You begin to dread looking at the feedback and comments and DMs that are waiting for you…

Despite the growing fatigue, the pull of getting that dopamine from your fans compels you…

You press on and work even harder than you did at the beginning.

But the magic has faded…until one day…

Burnout

You have no sense of wonder or excitement anymore.

All you feel when you think of writing…is pure fatigue and dread.

This is the first true burnout event.

One day, you find yourself playing a video game or watching Netflix or YouTube…

Things that you had avoided doing for the sake of content creation.

Things you had sacrificed to fulfill the wishes of your favorite OnlyFans-obsessed mentor…

Lucky for you, this is a temporary thing.

You drag yourself out of the daze and continue to push forward.

On the outside, everything seems fine to everyone else.

And it is…for now.

Back in the Habit

A few weeks later, it happens again!

• You tell yourself this time is also temporary.

• Your sessions of writing become shorter and shorter.

• Your thoughts wander away, uncaptured.

You drift back into gaming and YouTube updates and Tik Tok shorts.

All the work and safeguards you put in place to regulate and maintain the content machine fall to ruin.

You might come back to revive the project…

You even check in to see what has become of your connections every now and then.

But the thrill is gone…almost as if it never happened.

It becomes permanent.

The Remedy

That was me with many things throughout my life.

• Music

• Dance

• Theater

• Writing

• Exercising

I burned out on all of them at one time or another.

• I collapsed during dance rehearsal

• I finished my finals in the middle of a flu

• I was carried home after finishing my dissertation

As I got older, I began to realize that this was due to setting unreasonable expectations for myself.

• no rest

• no treats

• no breaks

It sucked.

You aren’t wired to execute for days, weeks, months, years on end.

At one point, burnout was a badge of honor in some circles.

You gave it your all and paid the price with foolish pride…carried off the field by your friends.

I thought this made me a devoted servant to my values and my honor.

It was the dumbest mindset and bordered on disaster.

It could have cost me my marriage and my family.

Here are 5 tips I’ve learned to avoid burnout…and I hope it serves you as well:

1. Treat yo self

2. Have a hotline

3. Get a therapist

4. Know your values

5. Live your life in equal measure

Let’s go through each one in this last half of today’s newsletter…

It’s Father’s Day in the US so we’ll use that as an example.

You Deserve It

Don’t underestimate the power of spending a bit of money on yourself.

If you’re a father, remember how good it felt when you were in full control of your life?

Those days are gone. You traded your freedom for something far, far greater than yourself…your children.

You deserve to treat yourself and take a break every now and then. Now more than ever because being a father is a great, but hard job!

I am guilty of suppressing my needs and passing on the little comforts. It may be a noble gesture, but those small omissions have a way of accumulating…and compounding.

Don’t skimp on yourself. The cost of doing so could be too great a price.

Phone a Friend

You need a support network. You’re not the only one in your group who became a father.

Your college friends, your coworkers, they all became or have been on the same journey as well.

The point here is to reach out and stay in contact. Share in your stresses and grievances to connect and relate to others.

There’s a give and take when it comes to being a parent.

When I was growing up, my parents would take us to monthly potlucks. Each time hosted by a different family in a group of Asian American families. Now I know EXACTLY why they did that…

It was the monthly bitching session about parenting life.

For me, it was a way to get together with the kids in the community and have fun with them. I had no clue it was not for us! It was good food and good friends that I grew up with.

It ended when we all went to college.

‘Nuff said.

Have a support network.

Tell Me About Your Father

This one is tough.

You may have this covered with your spouse or the network you’ve built, but I recommend having a professional listen to you tease apart the things that you are facing in your life.

It’s their job, and they have a degree in it.

Also, health insurance in the US cover these fees.

Furthermore, discussion around mental health is becoming more acceptable these days.

Why the fuck do you care? If you need help, get help! You can be discrete about it.

I went through the standard Asian upbringing, and I’m going back to undo the negative aspects of the process. I’m not there yet, but I’m making progress.

Get a therapist.

What You Stand For

Be about something.

It gives you a foundation to stand on.

Burnout comes from not knowing exactly why you’re doing something, and it’s easy to lose your way. Shiny-objective syndrome is a cruel affliction.

As a parent, this is pretty straightforward. It’s imperative.

Your children are fast learners and will pick up on what you value.

Obviously you value them, but you also have to pass on things that matter to you. It’s like a life starter pack for them.

The younger they are when they find their values, the easier this will be.

You’ll save them from burnout as well so it’s a win-win.

Work and Play Don’t Mix…Right?

There’s a saying at my alma mater: Work hard. Play hard.

Yes, I went to college.

I stayed there for 9 years.

I learned that you can have fun doing what you love.

Appreciate your life and stay focused on your tasks…but it’s not all misery and drudgery.

As a parent, you take your kids to their events.

You change their diapers.

You give them baths.

You feed them.

This is love.

Find the joy in what you are doing.

If everything is playing, you’ll never work a day in your life.

The Takeaway

To summarize: burnout can destroy your progress and your mental health:

1. Honeymoon phase

2. The onset of stress

3. Chronic stress

4. Single burnout

5. Habitual burnout

Learn to identify the signs of burnout when it starts creeping in. Maintain and rebalance your process:

1. Treat yo self

2. Have a hotline

3. Get a therapist

4. Know your values

5. Live your life in equal measure

Each of these actions are like those internal sprinklers to put out the fires when they start.

These work for me…I hope they serve you!

Here’s this week’s actionable exercise:

Think about:

1. A big stressor in your life at the moment

2. Identify whether or not you are approaching burnout

• Go through the list and pick one that you can do to head it off

• Do it and see whether or not it helps you

• If not, try another one of the five…

Any one of these tips will help you, but the low-hanging fruit helps alleviate the smoldering ones.

Capiche?

This is the third exercise in self-mastery.

This was a lot longer than I thought it would be.

I guess I had a lot more to talk about...

Thought of the week:

A Knowledge Theorist searches for sustainability and balance in life…

Dammit…I think I forgot my snack in the mines again!

Next week, I’ll talk about what I’ve found at the core of the mines…The Arkenstone of my excavation!

If you’ve been on this journey with me, you’ve seen me start with Self-mastery on the surface…

moved to polymathic knowledge theory as I dug through the mantle…

and I’ll share what’s at the core.

Gotta go!

Vince

P.S. Thanks for reaching this far!!

P.P.S. What do you think of Tolkien’s work?